I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
