Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
you never un-have a 4some
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
Randomize