Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
Randomize
