I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
Randomize
