I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
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