he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
Randomize
