i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
Randomize
