i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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