My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Randomize
