I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
this must be what syphilis tastes like
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize
