Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
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