dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
Randomize
