The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
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