i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
She has the best kind of daddy issues
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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