Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
dude. I can hear the air.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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