I like my sex mixed with concussions.
my soul wont recognize me after tonight
white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
