Dude, I woke up in the kitchen, naked, with a blueberry bagel as a pillow.
Can I eat your pillow?
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
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