it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
