Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize
