Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
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