My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
Randomize