don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
Randomize
