uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
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