Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
My liver just broke up with me...
Barsexuality is the new black.
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
