I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
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