what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
Randomize
