Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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