Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize
