We're facebook friends in real life
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
Randomize
