You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
Randomize
