Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
Found the puke drawer
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
Randomize
