Buhtt sex?
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
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