You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
Randomize
