i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
Randomize
