The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
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