Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Randomize
