I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
Randomize
