Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize