idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
Randomize
