Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
if i died would you start the facebook group?
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
Randomize
