I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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