Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
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