Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
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