would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
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