Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
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