It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
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