When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
Randomize
