It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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