He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
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