Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
it was like eating out sand paper
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
She told me I should be a condom model.
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
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