No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize
