if you like me you must not know who I am
it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
Last time i carry you out of a forest
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
Randomize
