I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize
