I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
Randomize
