I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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